Steven wright quotes to lighten the mood.

Discussion in 'General Community Discussions' started by Fitzjohnfan, Apr 23, 2020.

  1. Fitzjohnfan

    Fitzjohnfan
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    Way too serious around here. Thought you might enjoy these:

    So I picked up a hitchhiker, and I asked him, "if I get tired, could you drive for a while". He said "I would, but I can't drive an automatic".

    He asked me "have you ever fallen asleep driving". I said "no but I've woken up driving".

    Saw a sign that said, "Next mile, in 1 mile".

    Saw another sign that said, "Next rest area, 24 miles". I thought, that's a really big rest area! They must get really tired here.
     
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  2. BankShot

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    Good ones Chris. Great idea to lighten things up a tad during this way too serious time. If I may add a couple, here goes............

    Remember, amateurs built the Ark, professionals built the Titanic......

    If you eat well, get lots of sleep, exercise, and drink lots of water, you'll die anyway. So open the wine!

    A lady at the meat counter asked the butcher, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The butcher replied, "No ma'am, they're dead".

    Come on everyone, let's all lighten up, BankShot................(aka Terry)
     
  3. Cyclonic

    Cyclonic
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    What my wife thought about each of our first four dates:

    1. Nice shirt.
    2. Wow. A second nice shirt!
    3. OK, first shirt again.
    4. He has two shirts...
     
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  4. BankShot

    BankShot
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    Now that was funny Cyclonic........INDEED IT WERE!!! Me thinks perhaps it was who was wearing those two shirts that really got her attention...............right?.........:D

    BankShot..........(aka Terry)
     
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  5. Texasrvers

    Texasrvers
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    I'll join in: :D

    I just saw a burglar kicking in his front door, and I asked him what he was doing. He said," Working at home."

    It's like being 16 again: gas is cheap and I'm grounded.

    To grandparents who are missing their grandkids: When this is over, you can have them continuously for a whole month or two. From their exhausted mom.

    Police just want you to know that running from them is not social distancing.
     
  6. zuraizk66

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    Being a huge fan of astronomy I buy every Astro t-shirt I see.
     
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  7. lianot

    lianot
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    I don't think it's a good idea to give control of your car to anyone. driving skills are different. And if someone makes an accident, then you will have problems.
     
  8. Fitzjohnfan

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    You DO realize this post was done with humor in mind, right?

    Have you done any camping this year, or are you still staying home due to Covid?
     
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  9. kuehneballmer

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    What is the status of this offer? What type of clothes would you recommend?
     

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